Straight Hair STILL (wish my life was as simple)

Straight and easy no kinks or SURPRISES, no stressed tresses, no way out of control locks, no unmanagable mane!!!!!

BUT NOOOOOOOOOO it is not that simple,

THE FOLLOWING is a depressing post for today BUT THANKS for reading and its a place for me to type it out and release some of my angst.

My family choose to DISOWN me 6 years ago (no contact phone, post, email nothing including Aunties, grandparents )BECAUSE of my choice of partner (he has mental illness Bi Polar SEVERE at times), unfortunately HIS FAMILY DONT support him or actively help in securing him piece of mind and stability IT FALLS ALL on my shoulders AS BIG as they are they can't shoulder all the stress all the time.
My partner ( if it is indeed that, we live apart and that aint easy) and I say partner loosely because I feel like his support person at times and a glorified nurse, he is only 37. I help in his day to day care meals washing etc and his employers are wonderful people caring supportive and at times WORRIED as to how he will end up in life!! as do I he is one of 4 brothers and 2 of them have mental illness as well as the father (so no NOT GOOD ODDS).(he was diagnosed as a teenager but clearly suffered froma n early age)

THEY are stumped as to why his own family treat him so poorly and my family (well they dont treat us with anything head in the sand approach), I have no family here and my friends are my only support and catchnet, they listen to the rants, frustrations and tears all in good grace and WE all do as much as we can, BUT TO NO AVAIL, this wonderful man falls off the radar every 18months to 2 years and was AWOL for 48hours since Tuesday this week (turned up at his family this morning) dishevelled and a little out of sorts, mental health team are now involved again and down the slippery slope it goes, this time I am a little indifferent I am GLAD he has gone to his FAMILY because it is tiring and draining, it takes approximately 2-8 months of recovery time (NO WORK), I have tried to distance myself a little as IT IS SOOOOOOO disruptive and affects me as well and my son too, thats why I take all the extra work I have doing it on my own for nearly 18 months but over the last 7 years he hasn't worked for 3 years of that due to illness.

I try my absolute best to stay in control and on top of things BUT today feel more alone than ever, the Tauranga Mental Health Team are good people and I hope he stays closer to his family this time for all our sakes. I feel alot guilty that I CANT DO MORE, I FEEL at times given all the help he gets ( and clearly needs more he would excel GREATLY) if ONLY his family would step up more, I FEEL mildly responsible to help him as another human being and think IF I didnt then WHO? The thought of him homeless, jobless, and passed around (his family and yes JAXX can verify all of this) to me is terrifying.

At times I wish I had the money to fix all of it SO he DIDNT have to work BUT COULD just potter and tinker on his computers and cars ( he is a COMPUTER NERD/WHIZ has been since 7 years old), he has installed all the POST OFFICE communications Systems years ago WHEN internet BROADBAND became huge in the central and upper NORTH ISLAND, is an electrician, can do Auto Electrical work and is certainly no slouch BUT IT IS the day to day living that is hard for him ALL the other stuff that makes us function as people that he can't cope with.

Although he has many professional people down here helping BECAUSE Taupo isn't part of the DHB we fall under ROTORUA he sees different MENTAL PEOPLE and they change monthly................

HELLO WAKE UP mental health people need continuity of care and stability and ALL THE THINGS we take for granted!!!!!!!

Sometimes I wish I could make it all go away.