How strange is that

I have just looked at my first post and see it says Friday January 2nd? and was posted at 5.58pm? I am sure someone from blog land will direct me in correcting this, felt I should divulge a little about myself.

As alot of people put on their blogs if it is weightloss updates, personal updates, and family issues, feels really it is anything goes and you are either all or nothing AND some go private (and like me I STRUGGLED to access that for awhile) or just let friends and family know updates I guess as a form of communication.

I am very NEW to this and dont have Bebo, or facebook, or anything page, just thought it would be nice to express some of how I feel and try to get s grasp of more where I want to be or more where I want to head, at 40+ (nearly 41), it is the I need a pep talk blog.

I would love to be more motivated in my journey towards the healthier lifestyle I once had only 18 months ago, 109kg and eating healthy exercising an hour or two a day, and defiantely wearing smaller clothes, currently I am 135kg and back to size approx 26/28 bottom half and a 24/26 top half (4xl BH and 2xl TH) or even bigger depending on where you shop I SWEAR clothes are sent to TRY US!!!!!NOT US try them......

When I view myself I certainly dont see a fat person or obese or even extremely obese, I dont smoke or drink, HOWEVER my portion control is way out of tune, AND I am definately a savoury eater rather than sweet eater but CERTAINLY dont say no too sweets. I have a voluptuous hourglass figure, beautiful olive skin, and hands and feet and wrists that GO ON A SIZE 14 body (they are the only small parts of my body).

I am an organised person most of the time AND LOOOOOVE organising others, (is my forte) I AM a compulsive LIST MAKER and would have a coronary if I lost my list.Cant believe I am in my forties and just wonder where my thirties sloped off too!!! I feel like i have woken into my forties and missed the thirties, I remember them sure, I dont wish them back but think how fast the last 10 years has whizzed by.I am not a very technical computer person and may not even add photos (not sure how too yet!!)

I have completed a half marathon in the last 2 years, and a duathlon, and was walking an average of 50 - 60km per week, I agreed to be the support team for OXFAM and as the teams walking regimes hit up into the 80 - 100km walks MY EXERCISE went down hill fast then back to zilch. I satarted walking again in earnest in May of 2008 and on 11 Nov 2008 SEVERLY tore ligaments in my right ankle around back of ankle and both sides NO WALKING WORKING or DRIVING!!!! until 4 Dec 2008.

I have a son whom adores me and is the highlight of my enitre existence, to see a human being in the form of myself, assuredness, confidence, wit humour, balance, and he knows how to cook, clean and do his own washing he even makes his own bed and DOES his own room (and has done for at least 4 years now). He loves sports and has a zest for life and a passion for food, is highly academic and strives to succeed and try his best at any thing he turns his hand too.

I know I have to push harder to motivate myself back into a LIVING lifestyle I dont like healthy lifestyle or the word D*#T!!! Because I should be wanting to live for my son Why wouldnt I? I am not big on family at the moment and HAVE a few very close friends whom I lean on and vent too when I need a moral boost.My aim for this year is to complete 3 half marathons May/August/Nov.... BUT inbetween those months I would like to average 50km a walk in maintainence, I like to walk alone as I find when you walk with others YOU feel obliged to talk to tem THUS wasting precious breath!!!!

I have an odd relationship to my partner he suffers with Bi Polar and well IT IS trying.... and those who live with mental health issues and have family members in the loop will know THE simplicity of that statement and where I am coming from, (by not divulging too much enough said). He is a lovely man caring, gentle, misunderstood loyal and totally lovable JUST very very hard work, and it would be made all the easier if only his family would accept responsibility to his situation and certainly to our situation. We live apart but have daily contact and I am mostly his only support.I have a wonderful group of ecclectic friends ranging from introverted to LOUD and crass, young(30) and mature (56), zany crazy women whom I surround myself in and enjoy each their unique personalities.

I love to be involved in and around my sons schooling life and whilst some may say ( I am up there all too much, am famous for my hot chilli nacho mix, chocolate cake and biscuits!!), I like many want to be happy, healthy, live longer and have some financial freedoms to allow me the room and strength to survive just normal everyday existence. See I did say I would ramble along, oh well I will stop here or else you may all fall asleep or worse still read too much and then have to start again.

Ciao